i've come to believe that, in many ways, "no" can be a much kinder and more loving word than "yes". in the moment, saying it can be really really difficult and can bring up a lot of emotional junk. i've consistently struggled with this throughout my life because i've always tried to be good and somewhere along the way my belief became good=yes=wanted/loved; especially in relationships when, in actuality, good=yes=used.
so, here you go when it comes to "no"...
respect it.
there's usually a reason the person you're hearing it from is saying it. pushing them into saying yes is about you.
accept it.
this doesn't mean that you won't get what you want; just not when you want it.
say it.
doing so doesn't mean you're selfish or unloving; that you don't understand or don't want the other person to be happy. it means you're defining who you are and who you are not.
thoughts?
I have been trying to say no more for the last 3 years. I've gotten a lot better at it, even though it is still very hard to say. Your blog post spoke to me. Thank you for that!
ReplyDeleteeven saying it once is a major triumph. three years? that's wonderful, kristy! you keep at it, lady.
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